A Modest Proposal for the People of Matthews

To the Editor:

For too long, the people of Matthews, Indiana, have watched the Cardinal Greenway — the longest rail-trail in our fair state, sixty-two proud miles from Marion to Muncie to Richmond — arrive at our doorstep and simply stop. Cyclists pedal confidently out of Gas City, full of granola and optimism, only to be dumped onto county roads to dodge traffic. The trail resumes near Gaston as if nothing happened. Matthews sits squarely in this gap, connected to nothing, known for nothing — save one lovely covered bridge, which, God bless it, can only carry a town's reputation so far.

I write not as a resident of Matthews but as a neighbor from up the trail, and I humbly propose that Matthews close this gap itself, with a dedicated path routed around town. I propose we call it the Matthews McConaugh-way.

The design principles are simple. Every turn on the Matthews McConaugh-way shall be a right turn. Three of them, in fact, in gentle succession as the path curves around town… “all right, all right, all right.” Signage will confirm each one. No left turns will be permitted or, frankly, philosophically tolerated.

Consider the benefits:

Civic connectivity. The McConaugh-way would finally link Gas City to the Gaston-Muncie stretch, making the Cardinal Greenway whole and putting Matthews at the very heart of Indiana's premier trail — not to mention the Great American Rail-Trail, a route that will someday run from Washington, D.C. to Washington State. Coast-to-coast cyclists would pass directly through Matthews. Some of them might even buy sandwiches.

Tourism. People drive hours to see a covered bridge. Imagine how far they'll drive to ride a pun. The gift shop possibilities are endless.

Regional identity. Gas City has gas. Gaston has, presumably, more gas. Matthews would have something no town in America has: a piece of transportation infrastructure named after an Academy Award winner who has never been there and is not aware of it. That is exactly the kind of confidence Matthews needs.

To the skeptics who say Matthews cannot afford it, I quote Matthew McConaughey himself: “It'd be a lot cooler if you did.”

Greenlight this, Matthews.

Respectfully submitted from up the trail,
A Concerned Neighbor with a Bicycle and a Dream